Narrative Feedback
Here follows the feedback I provided to our narrative designer in regards to our introductory video.
Here follows the feedback I provided to our narrative designer in regards to our introductory video.
Before The main problem with the writing is that it's too vague and metaphorical. The game is a hack and slash about an angry viking killing a bunch of zombies. The writing should fit that feeling. Aside from that, it's also quite bland, but the most important thing is, it doesn't clearly set-up what's going on in the world or the player's goal.
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After The final rewrite turned it into a much clearer introduction. No more vague metaphors or plot points that people wouldn't understand. After watching the introduction now, the player would have a much clearer understanding of their goal and where the evil came from.
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